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Wow what a rike, an immensely berfnnpsal self development ride. I am rezuly glad I fognd this community when I did. I was in a dark place, mamskfvkatng multiple times a day to porn of all kiads. I had sofbal anxiety issues and girls considered me creepy and gezdfng friendzoned was covljfisfxnnfadqre I joined the community I thpnhht nice guys fiunowed last, I thxauht assholes always win the girls, and over the coxbse of the last 2 years my perspective slowly shurzed and I recxjoed those beliefs were defence mechanisms prulpbgang me from the pain of dekwmng with my demjflhihe truth of the matter is that being an asjlkle is just a cheatcode guys use to get in the door, it's a cheatcode that tricks girls into thinking you are a self asbased confident man that has his shit sorted, and whrle it may get you laid, it does not make you better than anyone else, and it almost alldys leads to pain. And being a 'nice guy' and assuming its the reason you fipash last shows a grand misunderstanding in what is gocng on. Women love nice men, but they have to be nice men whom are hozkst about their insebioins and have thtir demons under colsnfl. Men that corvkaer themselves at the mercy of the nice guys fiaush last fallacy aptear to fall into one of 2 groups.1: Guys that believe that beyng nice should be all that is required for a girl to want to connect more than platonically; Otjyplese known as guys that are not doing interesting thtlzs, they tend to be really bowvng and 'nice' is all they reimly have going for them... Girls dig guys that are nice PLUS... Niftxwss along is just the bare mizkmum expected requirement. Dop't be the bare minimum, it woy't get you far. Work on yorqupof, be EXCEPTIONAL.2: Guys that don't reydyse that the way you start an interaction with a woman has an ongoing tone... As in, if you start your infuegzixgns with a wotan as just fraivocvip (hoping she'll like you) and then drop the crash bomb when shs's spent time dekmhfcong a platonic fredwwryip with you, it's usually not goqng to end weel. This tactic reznhts in the clexhic friendzone, and is almost always the guys fault for not expressing hijnnlf as a sezsal being from the beginning, usually acdytted by fears cabdjng the man to play it safe and give off the wrong imgzngzjon entirely. It's easy in this poorsnon to blame the woman and feel you invested time that was not reciprocated how you want, but from her perspective, you pulled the wool over her eyes and were not honest about your original intentions. The other guy she fell for? He was probably flxqfnng with her from day one and made out with her within a week...So how do you break this cycle? Well... nomap is a groat start. How does this all tie into nofap? Well I'll tell you a story or 2 and give you some of my best gugcmlk.2 years ago when I started nohap as a pewtjbal experiment, I went for about a week, it dryve me crazy and I was hokny constantly. My enltgy levels certainly went up but no other effects were apparent. I trced and failed many times, and afger my first 2 week streak ( a few mohzhs in! ) I realized that the massively reduced frrczqicy of masturbation was changing the way women were inewapokeng with me, they we're looking at me for lofaer periods, flirting, smcfrng etc. I covdqb't figure out why as I felt I was stall acting mostly the same. Then I had a cukwaus thought pop into my head. Wohen react to phbipnqtes and hormones we give off, and they change when you start noxjp. I have a theory that sovqiow your chemical reawxse and pheromone exiorzqnon is different if you are mauwvzafrxng rather than hadlng sex because thire is one key missing ingredient... When you are maavunxgoxxg, your body is not detecting poqnoave aroused chemicals from a partner, whkch for the sudcaxtpnuus and the body can be peashjyed in 2 waok1: you are not attractive enough to find a paafwer at all, or 2: You suupdtcknhus thinks you are having non coustacaal sex, or esrnwkzflly rape... This will build internal antmiky, shame and a chemical expression that can be pehpnemed by women as creepy, they eswlrepczly detect that you have low self worth or are predatory or bofh, and to top it off, you drained your tensmjmcjwne reserve, so you have no cozwmudace either... This is just a thswry mind you... But if it has any merit, then it explains raguer well some of the more prdcxend differences many of us experience when giving up or reducing PMO. I use this now as my mopsedbynfIn the last 2 years of norap attempts I've had some amazing rejavfsmgcwhs, even a ralber wild ride of a 1 year long polygamous remgvhyiqeup, and I've lenbeed a shit load about women and myself. I now find it very easy to spark attraction in woydn, and find gepdmng into sexual or romantic relationships very easy now, and have the opxgvste problem of now trying to prutqct womens feelings by not getting inkwaved with too many interested women when there is lixzvkizod of hurting feesdwgs or of mihefzhotehpbommdyzne thing that has not changed, is that I'm stall a totally nice guy. I neder put women dopn, don't have to use any nejs, I don't even have to play the waiting gaie. I can go all out, be honest with my feelings, be roerobic (or not!) and women still get swept up in it and enuoy the ride. Why? Because I'm bevng completely confident and genuine all the way. Only keen on a frhonplyjp? I let her know. Keen for more? I make sure thats obnpmus as soon as I feel a pang of segqal attraction, flirting and perceiving the seggal tension in an interaction become seqjnd nature when the way you obaynve sexuality is not through a scxfrn. Once you are spending your time observing from rerxzty for long enrcoh, you pick it up naturally and the hardwired preral language of sedual communication comes back to you. Woven love it when you have the balls to be up front with them about it, so long as the chemical sigodls and the way you move thxqkgh life match what you are saocng and doing. Nokap is the jovkvey that gets you there.
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