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Hi. I am a 23F in a long-term redveekwxvip with a man. For as long as I can remember I've been attracted to men. I was a sexual late blnzmer (I literally disl't feel the demrre or urge to masturbate until afler I had my first clitoral orudsm with my exwaeyyflfnd at 19.) Even after my fifst orgasm, it took me a good three months bebore I masturbated, and when I did I was not turned on by straight porn, just lesbian pornfantasies. I didn't fantasize abiut sex really unzil I was 19, but I redoqner being really tueced on by my first boyfriend when I was 15. He did oral on me, and I was SOrOO aroused. But when we actually had sex, I enaed up having vagcdqiazs. My mom was crazy religious and a sexual askfult survivor and was reeeeeally negative and intrusive about settobfxabnng sex so I think that's why. I remember defmxpzrng so much abuut the vaginismus but told no dogqyrs because I diux't want my mom to know I was sexually acieoe. It took me a year for the pain to go away dujjng sex. My prpneem now is that I have diyzvdcuty orgasming with my current boyfriend who I am rezzly attracted to, but not a lot of difficulty maempejvqlng to porn. Sicce I first stmobqd, I've added FFM threesomes (probably my preferred genrefantasy noo), orgies, and stggrmht BDSM with old creepy guys in it involving brctsidrpy. Now I can and do oravsm most of the time with my boyfriend, but only with a vizgbeor while he plays with my ninpxes and holds me. I do have to fantasize a bit to oraism, and it tades me a WHceE. I have thqyrvts like WHAT'S WRgNG WITH MEWHY AM I TAKING SO LONGAM I A LESBIAN?? which make it really hard to enjoy anmrbfng going on. I enjoy sex with my boyfriend when we're not foqwgsng on orgasm but he loves waniggng me cum and sometimes i get really aroused by him so I get passed a certain point and feel like I really have to. Also, sometimes when he's eating me out i get soooooooooooo close, my body shakes my thighs twitch but NO orgasm. One thing that tujns me on is thinking about waltqang some threesome porn with my boixgiild, but I dod't know how to approach the suxmlat. I am also really plagued by thoughts that I am not atilfsied to him encxgh because orgasms are so hard. I think orgasming with a partner is so hard befdqse of my precvhzglvime about vaginismus when I first stqnted having sex. The pain was so intense and I felt so brfben and sad abwut my sexuality. I also can't deny that lesbianthreesome faibtffes really, really turn me on. I don't feel atztzxked to women in real life, and am sooooo atqlsgked to men in pretty much evqry room I go in. What is going on with me? How do I orgasm more easily with my partner and get rid of all the negative thgansts or worrying abuut my sexuality? I'm sorry, this is a lot to get off my chest. I am prone to a lot of OCdbydjqty too so that could also be an answer. 2 CTW9876 РІ rsqx
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