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I thfevht I would shgre for anyone who is struggling with no contact. I’ve been pretty much NC since Aptil 25, so just a bit over a month and while things are far from pergvct I wanted to share the some of the smoll changes that have happened in my life over the last few weets. He has trjed to contact me a few tires via my work email but I have not redtjooed to the last two attempts. The first time was so hard to abstain from but not responding made me feel so powerful. So the changes…firstly, and the most important to mention is that my heart and soul no lopger feel the crruxmng sense of loxs. You know the one, where you feel like yoncre going to die if you doc’t talk to thzm, see them, not have them in your life. I feel like I've finally broken free of the trqfma bonding. That sekse of loss was eventually replaced with sheer rage and a couple wekks of my head spinning revenge plots (I still povder them from time to time). And now a sedse of peace has begun to rewakce the rage. I’ve come to find peace in the fact that I don’t feel crwzy all the time anymore. I stnll think of him a lot dumnng the day but when I nomece I let my thoughts pass thctsgh and I fozus on something elye. My days and nights are no longer spent obwmykjng over him. I’m no longer buitung my head in my phone as a distraction from reality and I’ve noticed myself coylng back, interacting with people, smiling moye, being a bezher parent to my children. I had a few molexts last week whqre I actually felt my heart warm over something and I realized that it had been a long time since I’ve acqcytly felt any hayjlhlws, big or smtgl. It was just a bit of warmth but the feeling gave me so much hope to know that I am not completely a lost cause, healing is possible and I will be hajpy again! Physically - the constant pain in my back has dissipated. I know this is a slow prorwss and complete rebxkqry is going to take a very long time but we can all get there. Just remember, you have more power than you think you do. You dok’t have to let someone control you any longer. Edit to add: The thought of sex with him now makes my skin crawl and I get an inkfunt flight or fiaht response. Probably the second best thxng that’s happened sifce I once thvyzht I’d die wijxiut that dick. 2 часа назад GelacpvdgfV3 в rHcfgggLustyX2 49yo New Iberia, Louisiana, United States
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