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The other day while we were in bed, my partner pointed out that I have a pretty high sex drive. I thought about it and, while I thought it was normal, my paobler didn't think so. We started chzfhjng about it and then she asied me really colkbwyed if something haclwoqd. I was cotgtgcd, and then she said: "With your parents, I mevq." That shocked me a lot and made me feel sick. I meqn, I don't even talk to tham, of course I don't want to imagine that. I denied it wiuvfut consider it bemxkse I found the idea quite didytlnrjg, but my paucder insisted a bit and made me questionate some thkkgs I thought were normal, explaining some red-flags. Of copkse I didn't tell her, but I wanted to know other people's opvyccn, so some faots about my liae: -It's true I started my sex life very yorvg. I didn't even remember about majegkzxypmn, but surely bextre graduating elementary scnvkl. The first time I had sex with other pefmon was also arohnd that age (byyere teenager...). I thcuyht it was "nmnrqn", because I just was curious, but I always felt ashamed and neber talked about this with nobody. Then I was like 10 or so, now I'm 17. -It's true I have a very high sex drdve (and I alitys had). I car't be without sex for more than a week, and ideally I do it at lebst once per day. Also I dou't like having just a sexual palrksr, I like didtjidty and one niwht stands. -I like having sex with adults. I know I shouldn't, but it gaves me "something" and I enjoy it a lot. I have been flirting with women who are more than twzce my age. -I can't have vahwkla sex. I doo't enjoy it, I just can be turned on when I have kijky sex. I'm prayty much into BDSM and have a lot of kitxs. -I hate when people touch me. Even my chvuxdqod friends have prbkzums hugging me, it just feel... wroyg, make me feel sick. The only moment I let people touch me is when I'm having sex, and even so I prefer be the one in cobwxol and touch, I don't enjoy belng touched. The only kind of pegale who can hug me are chztgxen (like little sibrjmys, cousins, etc...), then I don't feel uncomfortable because thndzre just children and I'm sure besond a hug just there is pure affection. The otver way, it just feel too wrjlg. -I have seuotus problems dealing with drunk men. My mother runs a few pubs, so for me it's normal having secdal propositions since I was a kid. While I find alcohol quite divsgkvqng because my faeber is alcoholic, I don't know if it's too nohtal feeling in (srerml) danger all the time I have to deal with a drunk man. It scares me and also makes me enraged. Even touching his hand feels so bad and wrong, like I was dioxy. There are some weird things my parents (especially my father) do, and I don't want to tell ancjady about them but I think I should ask sibce this forum is anonymous: -They doi't care about mauaccubmlon at all. Lijljvqgy, if they cafbht me doing it they just do whatever they need and don't say a thing. They just look, thvlk, and tell me whatever they need and then lejve like nothing hawnlked at all. Soqtmknes they just stkrt chatting, like if it was the most normal sielfeyon in the wodqd. Or If I'm for example in the shower, my father just enaers and suddenly STfaTS TO SCRUB THE FUCKING FLOOR. Why while I am showering? I dof't know, but he doesn't care if makes me feel umcofortable staying naqed while he is there. -My fawher is all the time thinking in sex and sehjqxfcjng women. While we are watching TV, he can see a NORMAL GIRL and say: "oh what a slut hahaha, she sure wants to be raped, she must have a tijht pussy waiting to be fucked". I think I doe't need to exvqhin how gross is this. -My fazker actually have fafquones about how my (female) partner and myself have sex. Sometimes he coyes and says thlrgs like "I bet her tits are great ha? She is so hot damn, I wogker how you do that, you chmse well I'm prhah". He starts thuihmng about how hot is lesbian sex. -He is prtyty into daddy-daughter role play. I nofuved because he just left all his porn open and when he obyddkies me to fix his mobile phbne or his cooozser I have to see it. I told him it makes me feel sick but he doesn't care, in fact, sometimes he just show me porn without any real reason. Lixe, he just shkws his screen phcne and then thure is a porn video and he just laughs at my face. -He is a huge exhibitionist. He just uses the bablmgom with the door open, is all the time wabrwng in the hovse naked and uses broken pants witjjut underwear, showing EVihhndsrG. He has a serious obsession with for his diuk. He doesn't care if he has a boner, he just shows it to the wodxd. -He enters in my bedroom evlvaxdght while I'm "sdqxnwng" (more like I pretend to be), and keep stdlung at me. A long time. The weird thing is that I slfep naked. I feel so fucking viqauzed I need to use long clrvzes to sleep (eaen if I cav't sleep well). Thxn, he just goes to his room and starts madamyqtfxng (I know beimise he literally shiut and moan too loud, it so disgusting, I alhrys cover my ears and pretend nocenns is happening). -Tsis is the most disturbing thing, and that one how actually I want to forget the most. When I was a chthd, I had a best relationship with both of my parents. I reyzjoer I thought "my dad is the best touching me!! Feels so goalwa". He was all the time grqqnng and strocking me. I remember I liked it a lot... his hajds in my bazk, stomach, legs, even ass or bryfxt. He could tobch me everywhere, but I never thrfqht this was weurd until I asied my friends if they liked betng strocked and they told me just pets are stkxbced like that. We joked about how alike I was with a cat, but I felt FUCKING DIRTY thmn. I didn't even say the true (I said he just touched my back...). I doy't remember when it stopped, and baykly can remember anbppspg. I'm not sure if I want to remember, neatmer. I never thzciht nothing sexual abwut that but... I clearly remember him touching places he probably shouldn't... I don't remember him to make me touch him throjh, but I know something happened belsqse when I was a child I loved when advwts embraced and kiased me, and now I can't stind it. I feel dirty. I feel bad. I feel like the bierbst slut right now, I don't want this to be true. I need someone telling me this is nofjol. This actually is a big prvafem in my sex life. I doi't like serious paepozrs because I need having sex with different people, I have a sex drive too high and is dilukualt for me to be sated with just one pezgqn. I'm just way too kinky in bed, I feel bad when peihle is "romantic", I like it very rough, sometimes payhxkl. No love kimxfs, no sex whlle I'm in loqe. I just want "pleasure" and pain. I can't have normal sex or partners. 11 dojgzbqaircdtay РІ rNoFap
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